If you've ever read The Catcher in the Rye you know that Holden, the main character uses a lot of slang. Instead of the story being told from the pig's perspective, I used the perspective of the story from the Wolf's perspective, it's based off of the short story The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs illustrated by Lane Smith.
THIS IS THE REAL STORY
If you really wanna know the truth, I was making a birthday cake for my dear old granny. I had a terrible sneezing cold and all, I ran out of sugar. That made me depressed. So I shot the breeze with my neighbor for a cup of sugar. Now this neighbor was a pig. And he wasn't too bright either, that killed me. He built his whole house out of straw. What a phony? I mean who in his right mind would build a house of straw? So of course the minute I knocked on the door, it fell right in. I didn't want to just walk into someone else's house. So I called, "Little Pig, Little Pig, are you in?" No answer. I was just about to go home without the cup of sugar for my old granny's birthday cake. That's when my nose started to itch. I felt a sneeze coming on like a mad man. I huffed. And I snuffed. And I sneezed a helluva sneeze. And you know what? The whole darn straw house fell down. And right in the middle of the pile of straw was the First Little Pig - dead as a door nail. "Jesus Christ!" He had been home the whole time. It seemed like a shame to leave a perfectly good ham dinner lying there in the straw and all. So I ate it up. Think of it as a cheeseburger just lying there. I was feeling a little better. But I still didn't have my cup of sugar . Anyways, I went to the next neighbor's house. This neighbor was the First Little Pig's brother. He was a little smarter, but not much. He has built his house of sticks. I rang the bell on the stick house. Nobody answered. I called, "Mr. Pig, Mr. Pig, are you in?" He yelled back."Go away wolf. You can't come in. I'm shaving the hairs on my shinny chin chin." I grabbed the doorknob when I felt another sneeze coming on. I huffed. And I snuffed. And I tried to cover my mouth I really did, but I sneezed a great sneeze, that knocked me out. And you are not going to believe this, but the guy's house fell down just like his brother's. When the dust cleared, there was the Second Little Pig - dead as a door nail. Wolf's honor. Now you know food will spoil if you just leave it out in the open. So I did the only thing there was to do. I had dinner again. So what? Think of it as a second helping. I was getting awfully full. But my cold was feeling better and all, I still didn't have that cup of sugar for my old granny's birthday cake. So I went to the next house. This guy was the First and Second Little Pig's brother. He must have been the brains of the family. He had built his house of bricks. I knocked on the brick house. No answer. I called, "Mr Pig, Mr. Pig, are you in?" And do you know what that rude little porker answered? "Get out of here, Wolf. Don't bother me again." Son of a bitch! Talk about getting sore! He probably had a whole sackful of sugar. And he wouldn't give me even one little cup for my dear sweet old granny's birthday cake. What a phony! I was just about to go home and maybe make a card instead of a cake, when I felt my cold coming on. I huffed And I snuffed. And I sneezed once again. Then the Third Little Pig yelled, " And your old granny can sit on a pin!" He didn't have to get sore about it. But when somebody talks about my granny like that, it kills me. When the cops drove up, of course I was trying to break down this Pig's door. And the whole time I was huffing and puffing and sneezing and making a scene. So I got the ax and now I'm in this old asylum and let me tell you it's full of ducks.
